Rude Awakenings

Today was not a good day. I just got a rude awakening, having someone explain to me that the person I want to be is nowhere near the person I show myself to be. Confusing? It can be.

I like to make people laugh. I have always tried to do so with a quick wit, biting humor, and a false front. This false front has caused people to give me the nickname "Oscar", as in "the Grouch". I relished the nickname, as the people who know me understand that it is just an act and it gives them a laugh. At least, so I thought.

After a talk with a manager at my workplace, I have come to the realization that it has become more than an act. It has become me. A grouchy, uncooperative person who thinks he knows best and scares off people rather than attracting them. Yes, I'm a relatively private person who likes his "alone time". But I never wanted to be someone that people purposely avoid, dislike, and think of as a roadblock rather than a problem-solver. But that's what I seem to have become.

The manager told me that I cannot fix things overnight. It is a process that will take giving people confidence one phone call, one office visit, one email at a time. He's right at that. But there's another aspect of this. I didn't know. I didn't know, because no one bothered to tell me face to face. Apparently, they spoke behind my back and never had the courage to face me. I'm not a scary person...or maybe I am. But I have always tried to be upfront with people and let them know if something is wrong. That way, we can fix it. That isn't what happened here. The tension reached a breaking point and I had to pin down this manager in his cubicle and ask him what I was doing wrong. I'm grateful that he had the courage to tell me.

What does this mean? It means that it is time to take matters in hand and fix things, one person at a time. I need to practice what I preach. And that is a literal statement.

I like my friends very much. I don't tend to see their flaws, because I know that I have so many of my own. Because of that, I see the positive far more often than I see the negative. But do I say this? Do I let others know that I appreciate them?

I've been told by those in my congregation that they like how I do things. I've been told that I am approachable. And yet...I'm not. Not at work. Not as much as I should be with my friends.

That needs to change. I'm not sure how yet. I'm not sure if I'm in time, or if it's too late to repair the relationships at work that I have damaged. But in order to preserve what's left of myself, I need to try. I need to look to the Great Exemplar to see how I should act. And I need to apply it.

To those who read this who see the negative in me: I'm sorry. Truly. Be patient with me. I'm a work in progress.

A Quick Thank You

I don't have a lot to say today, except I did want to say the following:

To those who have been reading my blog, who read my manuscript excerpts, and who left constructive comments --- Thank you.

Some people write blogs just to amuse themselves. In fact, I think most people do, because we always wonder if anyone is actually reading them. When someone stops to comment, it can be very rewarding, indeed.

When I decided to write some pieces of "French Bred" (no pun intended on the "pieces" expression), I hoped that maybe someone would get a smile out of it. Aside from some comments over some grammatical errors or a case of redundancy, I also received some very positive words from some folks. In fact, a coworker who was on leave of absence read the excerpts and felt the desire to let me know that she liked what I wrote. I was a bit flustered, and for once in my life didn't know what to say.

I am lousy at accepting praise or even positive reviews. I have never had high self-esteem and have always had issues with accepting complements. So let me just say that even if I hem and haw and don't seem to say much when you give your opinions on my writing, that I truly appreciate every well-thought-out correction, expression of like or dislike, and every complement I receive. I just rarely know how to accept it.

To all who have read: Thanks. Please continue to express yourselves, and turn others toward this blog if you will. I give my word that by the end of this year, I will have taken firm steps toward finishing the manuscript.

It's a Day that Ends In "Y"! Rant Time!

Why do I call this a rant? Usually, it's just miscellaneous thoughts that pop into my somewhat confused and unfocused brain. Still, rant is as good a name as any, I suppose.

Weekend football: Is it so wrong of me that I'm happy that the San Francisco 49ers are 3-1 (and should have been 4-0) while the Dallas Cowboys are 2-2? Probably not. Before the season started, I told a friend that the Niners would finish with at least 9 wins, and the Cowboys would not make the playoffs. Looking good! Still, I never sit down and just watch football anymore. I usually don't have the time. I heard it said during the week, though, that football is such a violent and damaging sport that it should probably be banned. I guess we could ask ourselves if it isn't a bit like the chariot races in ancient Rome, or the Gladiatorial Games. With the lifelong injuries that some of these guys suffer, maybe we should question if it's appropriate to enjoy these events. Sure, there is some spectacular athleticism shown in these games. However, how many stories are we hearing lately where some ex-football player has brain damage, can hardly walk, or dies young because of the injuries sustained playing football? Is it a guilty pleasure watching this sport, or should we just avoid it if we are opposed to violence. Maybe that's why I don't watch it anymore. But then, I shouldn't be cheering on a team, either.

Basketball Preseason: I would be more enthusiastic about this season if the Kings hadn't won a whole 17 games last year. I have doubts that they will do much better this year. Plus, with the bad economy and the threat of the Kings moving elsewhere, it's tough to get excited. But I would love to see a game this year. Just wish I could afford it.

Go Away Jon and Kate Plus 8! I am so sick of reading news reports about these two losers. The only reason they are famous is because they popped out babies and their relationship is dysfunctional. I have an idea. Let Jon go and marry the Octomom. Now THAT'S quality television. NOT.

House: The season opener of House was alright. I decided to withhold judgement until episode 2 of the season. Can it be? Are they getting rid of the final two substitute doctor / assistants? YAY! I particularly didn't like "13". Still, it will be interesting to see how they merge a kinder(?) Doctor House into the premise of the program. The show was based upon his pill-popping, anti-social, throw a solution at the problem and see if it works type doctor. I'll see episode three, with Darth Vader voice James Earl Jones as the guest star. "House. I am your father, House."

Psych: USA Network. Friday nights. 10 pm. Watch it. Or else face my sarcastic wrath!

Eureka: How can a season be like 6 episodes?? You get me hooked in again and the season finale is after 6 episodes? Curse you SyFy! (SciFi?)

Motorcyclists sans Armor: When the vast majority of riders have no armor other than a helmet, you want to just slap them. Idiots.

Old and New Friends: This weekend brought back some old friends who moved across country. They came for a short visit, and I realized how much I missed having them around. On top of that, they brought with them a couple from France for the time they would be here. I am not going to post names here, but they are two of the kindest, funniest, and most enjoyable people I have met in a long time. I'm so glad to have met them and been able to spend some time with them. But I'm still ticked that my long-time friend speaks French so much better than I do! (Yes, I'm jealous, okay?)

That's it for now. I need to go have some lunch and figure out how to get myself in gear to write my manuscript. Crikey, I'm lazy!

Adult Beverages

Last night, I enjoyed a very nice meal out with friends. As part of this meal, I discovered a few things about various beverages of an adult nature.

1) Gin tastes funny. One friend ordered a gin martini made with cucumber. I could taste the cucumber, which in my opinion does not belong in any kind of beverage, and I could also taste the gin - which also does not belong in any beverage. Gin just has a funny, slightly nasty tang to it that makes it clear to me why people add tonic water to it: tonic water is more nasty than gin so it makes the gin taste acceptable. No gin beverages for me. Ever.

2) Herbs do not belong in martinis. Another friend ordered a martini that included mulled thyme. Thyme is good in so many different foods. I just don't like to see it floating in a chilled beverage.

3) Too many fruity things in an alcoholic beverage disqualifies it from being an alcoholic beverage. That goes for flavored booze as well. I heard one person describe a chocolate martini as a candy bar with a kick. No thanks.

4) Grey Goose makes a great martini! For myself, I decided to order a classic. A vodka martini made with Grey Goose vodka. It's powerful, for sure, but it also has a combination of flavors that is very appealing to me. It is clean and classy.

4b) I agree with Alton Brown of the show Good Eats: James Bond drinks a wimpy martini. Anyone who orders "shaken, not stirred" is ordering a beverage where the ice breaks and melts quickly in the martini, thus diluting it severely. If Bond was a real affectionado of martinis, he would want it pure, not watered down. Shame on you James.

5) Scotch is an acquired taste, and if you have not acquired that taste, scotch smells and tastes disgusting. I don't want to have to work hard to acquire the taste for something that is that expensive. In reality, I don't think I could acquire it even if I wanted to. I can't get past the smell of it!

So a new question is: Why did I write an entry about booze? The reason? I needed to write SOMETHING, because I haven't written in a long time. So, any comments should focus on what is good or bad in adult beverages. I will preface this by saying that you will not change my mind, so just speak your mind as expressing why you like or don't like something.

Writer's Block and Focus Issues

As some of you may know, I have hit a wall. Not a literal wall, although I sometimes wish it were so, but a figurative wall. It is a wall of my own making. It is a barrier as imposing as a mountain. It is, as you have guessed, writer's block.

The terrible thing about writer's block is that it should be easy to get past. One should be able to look at the computer, say, "Oh...this must be what writer's block feels like. I'd better get back to work!", and move along one's merry way, typing like an entire tome was going to pour out onto the page. Sadly, this is not the case.

Combine said block with the fact that I have attention deficit, and you see a horrible problem. In order to write, I have to be organized. In order to be organized, I have to be self-motivated. In order to be self-motivated, I have to have confidence. When I fail to be self-motivated, I feel guilty and dislike myself. Say goodbye to confidence.

What is the solution? Writing classes will tell you that brainstorming can help. That's where you sit at the computer and just start typing whatever pops into your head, no matter how nonsensical. It just involves letting the ideas flow from your mind and through your fingers. After the exercise is over, then you can either scan the document to see if there's anything you can use, file it away for future use, or delete it as a load of rubbish. But supposedly, it's like putting a crack in the dam. Once it's there, it's just a matter of time before the wall crumbles and the ideas pour out in a torrent.

Right.

And I'm Walt Whitman.

Still, it's kind of what I'm doing right now. I'm brainstorming. Just writing whatever pops into my head. Sort of. It's actually a rant with purpose.

I'll do better tomorrow. I promise.

Hugbees! Skittles! Wombats! (There goes that derailed train of thought again.)

Help a Webartist

Sorry I've been out of commission for a week. I've hit writer's block extraordinaire. However, I wanted to write this quick plea for assistance.

There is a webcomic that I have praised for awhile. It is called "Count Your Sheep" and is written by Adrian Ramos. It is a good-natured and clever strip that deserves attention.

Adrian has entered a new comic in a contest. It appears that this contest could really help his attempt to do this work full-time. The story is called "My T-Shirt Fairy Tale". Don't let the title fool you. It's pretty clever and merits a look.

So here is my request. Please go to:

www.zudacomics.com/node/1485

Register, read, and vote for "My T-Shirt Fairy Tale". Then, if you send Adrian your email address to: tshirtfairytale_fans@ymail.com, he will send you a little zip file of gifties, including an electronic version of a children's book he wrote.

His regular comic can be found at: countyoursheep.keenspot.com

I don't know Adrian personally, but I really like the heart behind his work. Please give him your vote. It won't cost you anything except a few minutes of your time, and a smile after reading his work.

Be back with my regular blog very soon.

Les Moto-crottes

*** This one's for a nagging person to tide her over. You know who I mean, Angela. It will probably be in the manuscript in some form, but I thought I'd throw it in here for fun. ***

As I walked through the outer suburbs of Paris, I learned a very important life lesson: keep glancing down as you walk. Now, one can't do this all of the time, unless one wants to become very close friends with a lamp post or the bottom of a long flight of Metro stairs. However, it is absolutely necessary in the areas that are not exactly Paris, but are suburbs attached to the city. There are land mines present. Not the kind that literally explode and do shrapnel damage. No, these little brown bombs are left behind by four-legged terrorists, and their "free to do as I wish" owners. If you wish to keep your shoes clean, you have to learn a couple of moves that, here in the U.S., might qualify you to join the Cirque de Soleil. It is a move called the "glance and dodge". Here's how the dance goes. As you walk, whether alone or with someone else, you must keep your eyes flashing downward, at least 10 feet ahead of where you expect to be. Upon seeing telltale evidence of sidewalk mines, your mind must, in a flash, determine whether you will dodge left, right, or gauge your steps to deftly walk over the pile without skipping a beat. Failure to do so may result in laughter, illness, mockery, or a new brand of disposable footwear.

This problem doesn't exist in Paris proper. I wasn't sure why. Nor was I sure how. Paris is a busy, crowded metropolis, with more sidewalks than one can count. I imagined an army of men in Ville de Paris green uniforms, pooper-scooper in hand, running down the sidewalks disarming the bombs before they can explode. It was only later that I found out that the City of Paris has an amazing tool for cleaning up the m***de. They are motorcycles equipped with vacuum systems that literally scoop up the poop as the rider travels along. They are affectionately called the moto-crottes, "crotte" being a slang term for, well...you know. I'm unsure how one would add this to a resume' or a job application. "Well, Monsieur Homme, I see that you worked for the City of Paris, but I can't really understand what a maitre des crottes actually does. Can you explain it?"

As for me, I think it's genius. While it would be even better if, instead of the dogs, the masters could be trained to clean up after their pooping poodles, the motorcycles with the vacuums are a brilliant way to keep the streets cleaner. And yet, it was my brother-in-law who gave me a better name for this equipment. He works for the City of Paris, and he knows all the in's and out's of what it takes to keep the streets clean. His name for the motorcycles? Caca-sakis.

You have to love that French sense of humor.

I Feel Old

As the title suggests, I'm feeling old tonight. Oh, not because I'm feeling sickly or run down or my hair is turning particularly grey or falling out (which it is). No, I'm feeling old because of my son.

Tonight, before he went to bed, he decided to point out to me that as of tomorrow, I am now the father of two children who are legally adults in all 50 states, and one who is nearly at that point.

As close as I came to smacking him across the room as he snickered at my attempts to ignore him, I had to admit that he was right. But what does it mean? Isn't age just a number? Of course it is. They say you're only as young as you feel. Right now, I feel old.

As I look back over the years, I realize just how quickly they have flown. It seems only yesterday that this now-adult son of mine was playing pick-up-sticks at his grandmother's dining room table and getting upset because he lost, whining in French because he couldn't speak English. It wasn't so long ago that I married his mother and he looked up at me and immediately started calling me "papa", accepting me as a father rather than a step father.

I think of my other son and can see him sitting on the floor watching cartoons while I tried to catch a quick nap after a 12 hour shift at work. I see myself reading him stories from his Sesame Street books while doing the voices for him and making him laugh.

Now I see two young men, taking their own places in the world. My hair is now salt and pepper, except on the top where it is deserting me quickly (the cowards). My knees are a bit creakier as I climb the stairs. There are lines forming where they were expected, and hair growing where it wasn't. And I ask myself, "How much did I miss? How much of their growing up did I miss because I was lazy or I wasn't prepared for how fast time would go?" I'm sure that I missed far too much, and I know that I would do a lot of it differently if I had to do it all again.

I'm not ready to be a grandfather, nor am I desirous to be one. Oh, it isn't because I don't like children. But I look at the world today, and I think back to how difficult it was to raise children when things were even a bit easier than they are now, and I realize just how tough it will be on the next generation.

I always believed that when considering the future, expect the end of this system of things tomorrow, but prepare in case it isn't. I really hope that paradise is soon and that God allows me to be a part of it. But I know that this system is in bad shape, and raising kids in it is a gargantuan task.

Still, I think back and wish that I would have had the opportunity to raise kids in perfect surroundings, with me being a perfect parent. And I know - it didn't happen that way. I can only hope that as my kids think back on their childhood, they feel that I didn't do such a bad job after all ... for an old man.

A Question About Vacationing

I would like to state up front that this posting is not intended to be a backhanded slap at anyone. Nor is it intended to be a forehanded slap at anyone. It isn't any kind of slap at all. I merely want to ask a question and follow it up with a suggestion.

Let me start of by saying that I have lived in California all of my life. I lived in southern California for the first 10 years, and have been up north ever since. I have noticed a phenomenon here that I cannot explain. I'm sure that it would make an interesting paper for some psychologist or sociologist trying to make a name for himself or herself. But for me, it is just a question. Here it is. Ready?

What is the deal with Californians fascination with Disneyland?

There. I've said it. I feel better.

Seriously, though, I have noticed that many Californians use their precious vacation time to travel to Anaheim year after year and go to Disneyland for days on end. Some will even drive down for the weekend, for crying out loud. Now, there is nothing wrong with Disneyland per se. It is an amusement park of the first order, and is also a capitalist's dream. I don't believe that there is anyone in the western world, and possibly the eastern world, who has not heard of Disney. Fantastic. But why do people limit themselves to that vacation spot? Frankly, it boggles my mind to think that people have so little imagination that the first and only thing they think of when they think of vacations is to say, "Let's go to Disneyland!"

Yes, the economy is tough. But ask yourself a question: What do our kids learn by vacationing at Disneyland? Yes, they have fun and yes, they know all of the characters and yes, they like the toys and clothes and mouse-ear hats they get when they go down there. But I ask again - what do they learn?

Here's my suggestion. Keep your Disneyland vacations. That's fine. But instead of going every year or several times a year, put away a little extra money and go somewhere that isn't America. Even if you go to Canada, you're learning something. (Heck, even if you go to Washington state, you're seeing some beautiful scenery and meeting some people who don't think exactly the same way that you do!)

If you like driving, pick a direction and figure out how far you can go in the time that you have. If flying is your thing, even better. Go somewhere. Go to another country. Visit another culture. See and understand that not everyone is American. Not everyone hates or loves America. Not everyone does things the same way that Americans do.

If you read my first two chapters of the book that I'm considering writing, you will have gathered that culture shock was a very real occurrence for me. And yet, I learned. I adapted. I gained insight into the people of another culture. Don't smirk, the French may be a part of the "Western World", but they don't do everything the way that we do, and I have to tell you that some of their ways are better. Not all ... but some.

What I'm really trying to say is that Disneyland lets you play. Great. It lets you see people from different lands using digital cameras and eating junk food. Fabulous. But one doesn't gain insight into other lands, or even their own land, by going to the "Magic Kingdom".

Travel. Visit. Experience. Embrace another culture. Don't go expecting it to be another version of your own country, but enjoy the differences and immerse yourself. I guarantee that the experience will be something that you treasure far more than shaking Goofy's hand again and getting Mickey's autograph on your hat. *** Spoiler alert *** It isn't really Goofy or Mickey. They are people in costumes, and they are just signing Goofy or Mickey's name. Sorry to ruin it for you all, but it's true.

One more thing - riding "It's a Small World" doesn't count as visiting other cultures. You lose points if you think that.

What Time Has Taught Me

Just some random thoughts on what growing "older" has taught me.

1) Nothing is worth getting angry over. In the big scheme of things, it just isn't worth it. Anger results in so many other problems ranging from high blood pressure to road rage to just plain bad feelings - it's just best to let it go.

2) It's okay to apologize, even when it isn't your fault. Apologizing isn't a sign of weakness - it's a sign of maturity and a willingness to let things go, even if you are taking the worst of the bargain.

3) Keeping the eye simple is best. It's okay to have toys, but are you prepared to let them go if you have to? People are worth more than any "thing".

4) Marriages aren't supposed to be perfect in this system. The people who say that they never have to work at having a good marriage probably have no idea what's on their spouse's mind. Marriages are hard work, but one of the best rules to make one work is to always put the other's needs first. If both parties do this, then they will always look out for the other one, and the marriage will not have to deal with selfishness. I think selfishness is one of the biggest problems in marriage.

5) Violent shows aren't good for anyone. As the years have gone by, I have become very sensitive to violence on television and movies. Films that I might have enjoyed at one stage in my life have become very distasteful at this point. All violent shows do is immunize us from the traumas and pain caused by true violence. That includes violent video games, folks.

6) Guys may think that they look more distinguished as they age, but that's only because women tend to view the whole package: personality, wisdom, humor, etc. Guess what, guys ... women can look distinguished as they age, too. We just have to quit focusing so much on the exterior, and treasure the interior.

That's just a few thoughts for now. Preachy? Maybe. But I named this blog "Time Teaches" for a reason. Every now and then it just seems wise to take a step back and think of what we've learned over the years. If we have learned nothing, then we have wasted time.

Can't Rant?

Here we are, late on a Sunday night. I'm a bit wired, being back on a diet again, so I sit here at my computer trying to think of something to rant about. Should I rant about my diet? No. No one cares, least of all me. Should I rant about sports? No, not much going on that interests me. How about politics? I think I've learned my lesson about controversial topics. (No, I haven't, but I don't feel like writing about it tonight.) So what's it going to be?

In reality, nothing really interests me right now. I'm sick of the political wrangling all over television about "Obama's a socialist" and "Glenn Beck is a wiener" and "Rush Limbaugh is a drug-addled gas bag" and the like. Have you ever wondered what would happen if all sides just quit with the name calling and the party platforms and just got to work? Scary thought, isn't it?

Anyway, I think what I'll do tonight is just post a few things that I think, no matter how random or silly they may be. (Like that would be different in any case?)

1) Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy is a great book. Period. The wittiness, intelligence, and sometime silliness that Douglas Adams put down on paper is not to be missed. Don't judge this book by the recent movie adaptation. That version doesn't do the book any justice. In fact, I would much rather watch the old BBC version than the recent film. Nevertheless, just read the book.

2) There is almost no new music out there that I like. It all sounds the same to me. Maybe I'm getting old. (All of you people nodding your heads right now...stop it.) I like a variety of music, but with Garth Brooks retired, and the majority of artists out there over-synthesizing their songs so that you can't tell if it's live or Memorex, I just can't find anything I like. On top of that, one of my favorite groups, Rockapella, is losing another member. That makes 3 out of 5 gone within the last five years or so. It just isn't the same. Anyway, if you like music that is described as "folk", but is actually a combination of folk, blues, and just plain talent, give a listen to Amos Lee. He's fantastic.

3) I love the variety of internet comic strips out there devoted to the Disney takeover of Marvel. One of my favorites has the X-Men's Beast being let go by Human Resources due to redundant positions. (Think "Beauty and the...".) Another one has Mickey Mouse looking over his shoulder with Wolverine claws sticking out. Just plain funny stuff.

4) I think the Kings are going to be terrible again this year. I hope not, but I think they will.

4b) I think the 49ers will be very average this year, but could finish over .500.

4c) The Raiders will be lucky to win a game.

4d) Michael Crabtree is an idiot.

4e) I need to go to a Rivercats game some day.

5) I need to go to bed now.

That last one just struck me. Amazing, don't you think?

Side note to those who keep asking for chapter 3 of French Bred: It isn't coming anytime soon. If I write it, I'll email it to the few people asking for it. I won't post it here.

Why So Difficult?

I'm having trouble writing anything these days. It isn't because there isn't anything interesting in the news, although the majority seems to be health care, the budget mess, unemployment, and a solved kidnapping. I'm sure that I could come up with something to rant about. Goodness knows that ranting is not only a hobby, but a skill that I possess. And yet, I don't feel like writing.

Perhaps it was the last few blogs and the comments they drew. The cattiness of those few responses really put me off writing. I know it shouldn't bother me, but I hate illogic in responses.

Perhaps it's that I'm dealing with something I really dislike: moving. No, I'm not changing home addresses again. Instead, I had to move from a huge office in a remote section of the plant to a tiny office right on the main drag. The office has a big window in the front looking out onto the main hallway. Needless to say, I keep the shades drawn. With the shades open, people walking by just feel some incredible urge to look at me through the window. I told my boss that if I was going to leave the shades open, I would have to install a vending machine out front that would sell peanuts for a quarter. Then, employees who want to stare can also buy some peanuts to throw into my office. The only risk would be an internal desire to fling poop at them as they do it. No. I'll keep the shades closed.

I'm not only having trouble writing my blog, but I'm having great difficulty convincing myself to sit down each night and work on my book. Maybe it's a fear of failure, or just my ADD kicking in. I don't know. But I just can't get around to working on it. I guess I was hoping for more feedback from readers, even though I did get some very positive feedback from several friends who took the valuable time from their days to give it a look. I would have liked more readers, though, to really convince me if my writing is worth the effort.

Anyway, I'll try to get back to writing the blog as close to daily as I can. As for the book ... who knows?

Anyone got a peanut?

A Response to a Response

I received a comment from someone called "Rita" about my Sacramento Bee blog posting. You may wonder why it doesn't appear under that story. The reason is that I rejected it.

Now, let me explain why.

Rita decided that she would send me canned commentary from a group called Silent Lambs. The entire purpose of this organization is to spread lies about Jehovah's Witnesses. They are out there to give voice to bitter people who were either disfellowshipped or who left the Witnesses of their own accord.

Frankly, I wouldn't ordinarily even give a comment like hers the time of day. It was cliched, clearly printed from their own doctrine, and filled with misleading statements and outright falsehoods. However, the reason that I am mentioning it is to give fair warning to others who would choose to comment here: 1) this blog is not a democracy - it is mine, and I choose what to print and what not to print; 2) I don't like canned doctrine - I am all for a free exchange of ideas, but don't just spew what is put in front of you and you have been led to believe. If you can't speak from your own thoughts, then don't bother putting them in a comment; 3) don't run off on a tangent and move an incredible distance from the point of the story. The reason I posted that comment about the Bee was to point out a lack of journalistic integrity. I wasn't posting in order to convince others that Jehovah's Witnesses are right or wrong. The blog posting was to show that somewhere along the line, schools of journalism have forgotten the importance of research and integrity.

Rita, if you are reading this, thanks for the effort that you took in pasting your comment together. You won't read it here. Nor will I give your falsehoods the time of day. And for anyone else of your organization who thinks they will get a hearing ear from me - don't bother.

The Bee Does It Again

I'm think I'm done with the Sacramento Bee. I held on as long as I could, but today was the final straw. Between the million-and-six ads in every paper and the large majority of articles written by the Associated Press lies what is left of Bee journalism. Today's ire-raising incident was a small one in the large scheme of things, but it expresses a lack of attention to detail that borders on libel.

The August 28, 2009 issue of the Bee carries a huge front page story about the recovery of Jaycee Dugard, who was kidnapped as a child and recovered 18 years later, still in the clutches of her kidnappers. I could go on about the writing style of the article, and how it was written in a very technical and clinical way. Instead, let's move into the middle section of the article and a display of poor journalism.

On page A12, under the subheading "He had no parole violations," the journalist veers off course. Apparently, this reporter briefly interviewed the kidnapper's ex-wife, who now lives in the midwest. She was asked about her ex-husband, and the reporter paraphrased what she said about Garrido. The only quote that the reporter (and I am beginning to use that term loosely) felt the need to include was the following:

"Last I heard, he found God," she said. "He was marrying a Jehovah's Witness lady, somebody he met who visited in Leavenworth."

I could go into the many reasons that this is an example of poor journalism, but I don't have the time or desire to do so. But let me include a couple of complaints here. First, the quote is hearsay. There is no evidence included to substantiate this claim, nor does the writer give any clarification as to whether Garrido actually did associate with Jehovah's Witnesses, whether his wife had been one of Jehovah's Witnesses, or whether they even knew who Jehovah's Witnesses are! Second, and more importantly, the inclusion of this statement could be taken to mean that the reporter has a bias against the Witnesses. Why? Because this was the only quote taken from the telephone call with Christine Murphy, and was completely irrelevant to this story. Add to that the fact that the quote wasn't substantiated, and you have a prime example of poor journalism. Voila!

I am not merely venting in a blog. I sent a letter to the editor of the Bee, largely expressing the same thoughts I am printing here. However, their letter form only allows for 200 words or less, so I had to curtail my ranting a bit. Still, the tag-team that wrote the article about Jaycee should own up to their error. Either admit that the quote didn't belong in the article, back it up with evidence, or admit that there was bias involved. In any case, that little sentence destroyed the integrity of what could have been a very good article. Instead, the Bee once again proved that the print newspaper is in deep trouble, and gives a fine example as to why that is so.

Do I Tweet, Or Am I Just A Twit?

Twitter is an interesting phenomenon. In 140 characters, people try to get their thoughts and ideas out into the cybersphere for anyone and everyone to read. The problem is that many of those "tweets" border on the inane. Who cares if someone just ate a slice of toast? Is it important that everyone knows that you just got something in your eye? Why is the success of your morning bowel movement a cause for national news?

Okay. That last one went overboard. Sorry about that. Still, I have seen Twitter used in some very amazing ways. Recently, people in Iran stayed in contact using the program and their cell phones. I believe that the plane landing in the Hudson River was also Tweeted first. That's an incredible use of 140 characters. But I have also seen some examples of how sports figures use Twitter. I know one has to shorten words to fit them in a tweet, but bad grammar? I have seen repostings of some local pro basketball players that makes a Liberal Arts student want to weep! I get the feeling that some of these guys who left college early would have benefitted from the full four years.

So I don't hate Twitter, but I don't love it either. It all boils down to how one "tweets". Perhaps we should all have a bit of a Twit(ter) Filter on our computers and cell phones. If the system detects idiotic tweets or horrendous grammar, the filter would kick in and refuse to post that tweet. Or maybe we should just realize that everything we post on Twitter stays there in some form, even if we delete it. Yes, that's correct. Your deleted tweets are still accessible.

Recently, Google mail put a function in place where you have several seconds to take back an email after you hit send. Maybe we'll get lucky and Twitter will do the same thing. Sadly, however, I believe that people who post really stupid or twit-like tweets could read and re-read their post and ask, "What's wrong with it?" Or maybe they would just say, "Shah..s'okay, ain't it?"

English teachers around the country must be weeping.

Home Ownership

I spoke with a co-worker today who is about to close escrow on his first home. He got married about 9 months ago, and he and his bride are getting ready to move into a nice new house. How cool is that?

I didn't get into a house quite that quickly. It took me until age 44 to move into the first home that I (and the bank) own. At that point, I had been married 13 years! Still, here I am, and I decided that this would be a good time to write down some impressions as I near my first year in this house.

1) 1273 square feet is just right for us. My friend's house is going to be around 2000 square feet, and he's jazzed about it. I can understand that. Americans like homes with room. For us, the smaller house is perfect. Not too big, and not too small. It feels cozy, like a French home, and we were able to decorate it that way. It helps if you've got a good floor plan, and we do. The open kitchen-dining room-living room setup is great, and fine for entertaining. I was worried that this place would be too small, but it isn't.

2) I hate cockroaches. One would think that in a new home, cockroaches wouldn't be a problem But, after about 4 months, the little gross-puppies started to appear. I was introduced to another aspect of home ownership: the exterminator. (Bleccchh....I HATE bugs!)

3) My wife can paint. It was her first try at painting walls, and as I look at the job that she did, I'm still impressed. She did an absolutely fantastic job, and saved us a packet!

4) I didn't, and don't, want a yard. The area out back was looking like the Kalahari Desert, but I didn't want any grass to mow or leaves to rake. The solution? We have pavers and gravel out back now, and it all looks like a little piece of Italy. All we need are some raised planters, some patio tables, and we're set. And NO mowing! (The HOA takes care of the front yard.)

5) I like having a garage. It's nice to be able to park in our own garage. One problem: we have to clear out some of the junk we stored there. We moved things over from our apartment that we thought we would need, and we haven't touched it. Time to trash it.

6) It's a safe place. No real crime. Unless you count the dead guy who was found stabbed in his house down the street. In his bedroom. And no word from the cops on their investigation. Never mind.

I thought it would take me a long time to get used to living in my own house. Turns out, it didn't. Of course, it helps that my wife and I chose all of the decor and made it our own. I guess that's one piece of advice I would give others. Don't overcrowd your place, don't over-decorate, and make your home a comfortable place that makes you happy.

(Wow. Not deep at all. Oh well. They can't all be gems, can they?)

More Annoying Anonymous

Here we go again. Another person decided to post their commentary on my entry about the car crash.

http://timeteaches.blogspot.com/2009/08/sorrow-for-friend.html

Remember how I said that I was angry about anonymous critiques of my post, and the fact that the person commenting clearly didn't understand what I wrote? Well folks, here's another one. Instead of ranting by typing here, I have decided to post the anonymous comment and my angry response. (Why do I keep allowing anonymous comments???) Okay folks. Do me a favor and re-read my post and tell me if I was being accusatory towards either person involved in the accident. All I did was warn people to drive carefully! I'm going to go beat my head against the wall now. It will have the same effect as trying to reach some people.

Anonymous said...

Adam it is clear that you are saddened by the loss of your friend, and I hope that her family will be able to move on knowing that they will once again see her one day. However, you were not at the intersection that day and do not know what actually happened. There is no need to try and make the man and his grandsons out to be horrible people or try and make them feel as if it is their fault that Janis lost her life. It just happened and pointing fingers at people will not change the outcome of what has happened. You should focus on Janis and her family and stop pointing your finger at someone when you don't know what happened!

5:53 PM

Adam said...

I'm not sure why I'm posting another anonymous comment. I'm beginning to feel that it is a sign of cowardice.

Who, for crying out loud, is trying to make the man a villain?? Can you point out anywhere in my posting that I did that? SOMEone ran a light. I'm not saying that it was one or the other. However, if you can say with a straight face that people should not take this as a lesson to be careful when driving, then you should not be on the road yourself.

Frankly, I am fed up with overly righteous people who think that they can dictate to me what I should or should not feel. Do YOU know what happened? Do YOU think people should be allowed to drive with anything less than full caution?

Try this: ride a motorcycle on the streets of any relatively busy city or town. I guarantee you will get an up close and personal look at the lack of attention paid by some drivers.

The fact that you respond how you do, and that you do so anonymously, tells me a couple of things: you clearly did not read the posting carefully, but instead just assumed what you wanted to; and that you feel superior by trying to tell other people what to think and do.

I apologize to others for the harshness of this rant, but I'm fed up with anonymous postings and people who post without reading carefully.

Annoying Anonymous

Something happened last evening that rarely happens with me: I got angry.

If you ask anyone who really knows me, they will tell you that I have a very long fuse. I may get annoyed, but I rarely get angry. Last evening, a comment to one of my blog postings got me to that point.

Those who read my blog may recall my posting of a few days ago. It was a few thoughts about the death of someone with whom I worked, and my sorrow for her husband who I had worked with and who did some extra landscaping work for me.

http://timeteaches.blogspot.com/2009/08/sorrow-for-friend.html

I was merely expressing my feelings for the loss that her husband was going through and my hopes that people would think about this when they are considering running a yellow or red light. (Please note that I never implied that it was the lady who ran the light. In fact, I am pretty much convinced that she was in the right and it was the other driver who did so.)

Here was the comment of the person who didn't even sign their name:

Anonymous said...

Adam, I am troubled by your psoting and use of a dear freinds loss as a reason to promote any agenda. Janis was an amazing woman and one I was proud to call my dear freind for over 35 years. She was sweet and precious in our Lords eyes and a dear wife to Tony. She is greatly missed and is and will always be greatly loved. As aChristian I know I will see Jan aagain in heaven and our Lord is holding her now. Please respect her life and her family's loss.

If you check my posting, nowhere within it was I promoting an agenda. Nowhere did I disrespect her life or her family's loss. On the contrary, I was saddened by the loss. Perhaps this anonymous person was upset that I mentioned that her husband was a Roman Catholic. I did so to point out that people of different faiths can still have friendships and can care about one another.

As for Anonymous' need to state that he or she is "aChristian" who will "see Jan aagain in heaven and our Lord is holding her now", that sounds like an agenda to me. I am not going to quote scripture and verse at this person. That wasn't my point. But frankly, I am deeply annoyed that someone would anonymously preach at me and accuse me of using someone's death to promote an agenda, when their comment was more geared towards that than mine was.

If I have something to say, I do so, and I do so with my name attached to it. I'm not going to slam this anonymous person or attack his or her belief structure or anything like that. I'm just going to say congratulations. You did what few people can do. You annoyed me to the point of anger by your hypocritical commentary. The good thing is, my anger never lasts long and I'm fine now. I just felt the need to post to remind people that you are more than welcome to your opinion, and I will always post comments, even when they are contrary to mine. Free exchange of ideas is very important to me. Just remember to sign your name. In the future, I will definitely hesitate to post comments that don't have a name attached.

And to the person that posted: I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sorry for Tony's loss. And I look forward to a day when such terrible incidents will never take place again.

Newspapers

As I was reading my morning paper, I stopped to think about the problems that the industry is facing. The internet is, of course, the biggest threat to newspapers. As people read the postings of bloggers and people like Drudge, they begin to think that this is the only place they need to get their news. They forget an important fact, though. As true journalists leave the industry, where will these bloggers get their information? Ah, there's the rub. Many bloggers comment on the news of the day, but have no concept of how to obtain this news other than the traditional sources. As these sources dry up, so will the blogs. We need journalists, preferably those with integrity, to continue to seek out the truth and expose the liars. Without journalists, we would never have known what Nixon was up to. Nor would McCarthy have been exposed as the fear-mongering hack that he was. No, it took investigative reporting. (Not TMZ-type reporting, although they have broken their share of stories.) We need journalists.

However, there is another problem that the news industry is facing, and I will use my local paper as an example.

For the longest time, there were two newspapers in the Sacramento region. There was the Sacramento Bee and the Sacramento Union. Eventually, the Union folded, and Sacramento became a one-paper town. That lack of competition was probably one factor in the lack of aggressive reporting by the Bee that would mark their future years. Oh sure, they would break a story from time to time, but in general they just reported fluff. Fast-forward to today. The Bee is in financial trouble. Not only have they laid off people (like many other papers), but they have also taken to using the Associated Press for a huge number of their stories. The size of the paper has shrunk, and most of the items they print have already been seen in numerous other places. The rest of the paper is ads and fanny-kissing pieces dedicated to the mega-churches in the area.

Let me give you two examples of news that has been missed or ignored.

If you have read this blog, you know of the accident that took the life of Janis Del Pozzo. The first reports of that accident - and indeed, the only reports - came on two local television news stations' websites. There was no mention in the Bee, either in their main edition, their local section, or their website. Since the accident, Janis died, and there is still no mention anywhere. Why is this important? It is important, not only because a well-liked local resident lost her life, but it is the second fatality at that intersection in a little more than one year. Why isn't someone investigating? A good local paper would be all over a story like that! But still, there is nary a peep on any website or newspaper.

The second example is the story of a death in my town. In fact, it was a death on my street. In fact, it was a stabbing death in a subdivision where there has never been a crime. A couple of websites noted the death, and one local news site had the information. Since then, an autopsy has been performed, but we have no further news on the incident. The one website said that the person was stabbed. Stabbed. Sounds like murder to me. If the victim has slashed his wrists or slashed his throat, it might be suicide. Stabbed? How many suicides are noted where the victim stabbed himself. Oh sure, maybe if the victim committed hari-kari. But in this case, all media sources are silent. And the Sacramento Bee? Nothing at all. Nothing!

This is the second reason why the newspapers are failing. They have laid off their reporters and are relying on sources like the AP for their news. If that is all they are going to report, why bother to get the newspaper? I can get that from CNN. When I buy the local newspaper, I want in-depth coverage of the local news. I want investigation. I want competence. I don't want a rehashing of what I have seen on television or the internet. Shoot, even the BBC does a better job.

So don't blame society for the downfall of the newspaper. At least not on its own. Blame the newspapers themselves, who have forgotten what made them important. I can just about guarantee that CNN will not be investigating a local death. Why isn't a reporter from the local paper doing so? Because the reporters are either trying their hand at writing books, writing ads, screenwriting, or are flipping burgers at the local McDonalds because they were laid off from the paper.

I'm afraid the Sacramento Bee is one step from the brink. It is so close, that I'm actually considering canceling my subscription and giving them a little push over the edge. Until they start recognizing the need for good local stories, I can just check the internet. Or the AP. Or even listen to what is being discussed at work. I wouldn't know what's happening locally by reading the Bee.

Maybe they will post my blog? Oh wait. They already post blog entries.

Sad.

Sorrow For A Friend

According to several sources, our friend Tony Del Pozzo lost his wife Janis today. She had been in a severe traffic accident on Sunday, and had been in a coma ever since. The damage was severe, and from what I understand there was bleeding in the brain. She passed away this morning after fighting all week.

I bring this up because of the grief I feel for Tony. Tony is not a part of my congregation. He is, in fact, a Roman Catholic who was looking forward to going to Italy next year to see his daughter marry. However, our differences in our beliefs does not change the fact that Tony is a kind and gentle man, who is a hard worker and loves his wife as dearly as any man can. When he was working on our patio, he never ceased regaling my wife with stories about how long he had known Janis and how much he was still head over heels in love with her. My wife truly enjoyed hearing the stories from Tony and felt a friendship with him and Janis even though she had not met Janis. Now, Tony has lost his partner and friend.

I didn't know Janis well. She worked where I did for many years, and I met her a few times, but I didn't get to know her as well as I do Tony. Still, I am terribly torn by this loss. The main part of my pain comes from knowing how I would feel if I lost my wife. Even though I have the hope of the resurrection and I know that I would see her again, the feeling of emptiness and loss would be devastating. That's how I imagine Tony feels. I pray that he finds comfort, and that I can help if possible. But that seems like a small chance. The sheer number of family and friends who have been concerned with Janis' condition has been incredible. And yet, no group of people can take the place of the single person whose life has been lost in such a horrible and pointless manner.

To those of you who drive, may I please ask a favor? Don't rush to get through a yellow light. Don't think that you can sneak through a red light. Stopping when you are supposed to won't cost you that much time. Rushing through can have a much higher cost. It can cost a life. A life that never should have been forfeited. And now, the driver that hit her and the children who were with him will have to live forever with the knowledge that it was their vehicle that killed another human being.

Please watch how you are driving. You aren't invincible, and neither is anyone else. And the pain of loss is more devastating than you can imagine.

It can change many lives forever...and never for the better.