A Treasure Hunt

It's been a couple of months now, and my search continues. Yes, I'm talking about my search for my ancestry. Using a website called Ancestry.com, I have put together the beginnings of a family tree for one side of my biological family.

It's been a hunt for my identity in many ways. As I was growing up, I was told I was adopted. But I was also told that I was of this heritage and that heritage, but nothing was definite. So, what have I discovered? Congratulate me. I'm a mutt. Seriously. I have traced the one side of the tree from Utah to Canada to New Jersey to England, to Ireland, and to Scotland. I have discovered Pringles, Durwards, and Garrigans. But when it comes down to it, what have I discovered about myself? I mean, besides being a mutt.

I have discovered that as I look at the different names and places, I get a feeling for certain sections of the tree. I am particularly drawn to Scotland and Ireland. I don't know why. Perhaps it is a calling that God has put inside us to find out where we are from. Anyone who takes a look at the Hebrew Scriptures knows how important genealogy was in the Bible. But I think that certain traits and characteristics, certain likes and dislikes, certain desires and longings have always drawn me to those two lands. I look at the other places, including one line that goes through France, and don't feel the call as strongly.

I can't say that it has been worth the time, money, and effort that it has taken to find out these things. But then again...

Progressing in French

The time has come. I've been working at this crazy language (French) for years now. I have been married to a French woman for nearly 15 years, have been attending a French group and now congregation for a couple of years...it's time.

What is that time? It is time to start speaking French on a more regular basis. Ever since I have been involved with a foreign language group, I have limited myself to speaking that language only during meetings, slipping easily back into English as soon as the meeting ended. The problem is that when one does that, one doesn't progress in the language. In order to learn another language, one actually has to have conversations in that language. Therefore, I am decided. I am going to speak only French before and after meetings (unless necessity rears its ugly and deformed head) to the friends.

The problem lies in the fact that some friends don't feel ready to take the step. Timidity, lack of self-assurance, and doubt keeps many locked into their native tongue. And yet, the only way to grow in a foreign language is to use it. We may make mistakes, and may even accidentally suggest that our grandmother had a shoe with cheese shoved down her throat (with apologies to Steve Martin for stealing his joke). Still, every one of us in the congregation chose to work in this language, and work we must. Otherwise, what's the point?

But there's more to speaking French than speaking French. (Deep, aren't I?) In our area, we meet French-speakers who are not from France. Amazing, isn't it? Yes, French is spoken by people other than those who live in France! And in order to speak with them in an acceptable manner, one needs to learn about and look for the positives in their culture. One cannot treat someone from the Congo with the same cultural behavior as someone from the Ivory Coast! It just isn't the same culture. Thus, I am going to begin teaching myself about various cultures.

Why am I writing this? I guess I am doing it as a contract with myself, and a nudge to others who are striving to learn a foreign language. (That includes those in my congregation.) One needs to speak the language, not just say one sentence out loud a couple of times a week. No, one needs to converse, to make mistakes, to correct mistakes, and to grow.

To those who learn languages easily: I f**t in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries! Seriously, though, I envy you. I wish languages came easily to me, but they don't.

To those who struggle with learning another language (98% of those who try): welcome to the club. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. That's the way to learn. Laugh at yourself. Keep trying. And learn about other cultures. As you do that, you'll understand a great truth. It isn't being fluent that's important. It's about meeting the other person on their own turf to build relationships. When you visit a country where they speak the language you're learning, you'll find yourself welcomed if you make the effort to speak the language. You may goof it up from time to time, but you'll enjoy the experience, and make the world a bit smaller in the process.

To my friends learning French, I quote David Tennant of Doctor Who fame: Alllons-y!

Ancestry Update

Well, I finally got the information from the investigator. First off, let me say that Lisa Vittori, who works for Triad Search Consultant in Los Angeles, put in a lot of time on this, and I'm grateful. I actually had much of the correct information from Ancestry.com, so I guess I'm not bad at this investigative stuff myself. However, Lisa actually contacted my biological mother and confirmed the information.

I'm not going to give out names or other information in a blog; that wouldn't be appropriate. However, I can say that my biological mother is still alive and living in Southern California, as is my 93 year old biological grandmother! It seems that long lives are pretty common in one of my ancestral lines.

When I started this quest, I had no intention of contacting my biological mother. I just wanted to know where I "came from". What country holds the key to my ancestry? What did my ancestors do for a living? Do I have famous people in my lineage?

As the information was being prepared, I wondered what would be my reaction when I learned who my mother was? I didn't really know. But neither did I expect her reaction.

She wants nothing to do with me. She wants no contact at all. She insists that I do not write to her or call her.

Believe it or not, I was hurt by this. It isn't as though I was trying to contact her or that I wanted her to be "my mommy". But to shut the door so firmly without even wanting to know who I was or what I had become was almost harsh. Still, after learning a few things about her and my maternal grandmother, I have come to a couple of conclusions. First of all, she has every right to make the statement she did. She gave me up for adoption with the understanding that I would never know who she was. That was part of the deal. She didn't abort me or leave me in a trash bin. She had me placed with adoptive parents who would take care of me. So, if she doesn't want to know me, that's her prerogative. The second thing I have gathered is that I think that she and my biological grandmother are a bit "off". Everything I have read from the medical records and the adoption "non-identifying information", as well as the report of the contact from the investigator, leads me to believe that both of them are a bit neurotic. That makes sense, as I'm not "all here" myself in many ways. I can't fault them if that is the case.

Nonetheless, I can trace one line of my ancestry. I can't trace the paternal line yet, and may never be able to be. As I stated before, it is believed that my biological father is also adopted, so unless I can trace his birth records the same way I traced mine, it's a dead end. I could try a DNA test, and may do so just to find out the region that I'm from, but I'm not sure I want to spend the money on what could be a fly-by-night operation.

Anyway, I have Scottish ancestry, as well as Irish, on that side. (My wife says that I picked the "stepchildren" of the British Empire. Cute...very cute.) I also have a lot of Utah/Mormon ancestry, which is a bit of a surprise.

I'll probably turn a copy of my family tree over to my kids so that they can know some of my ancestry. Who knows? Maybe they'll find they are the ancestors of kings. Or jesters.

Ancestry Found! - Now Waiting for Info

Well, it appears that my investigator has found my mother. I don't know yet if she's alive or what her name is or anything like that. I should have the info this afternoon.

I'm not sure what this means to me. It's a bit scary, now that the information is almost here. I'm unsure what I'm going to do with the info. I mean, I'll actually know if my biological mother is alive and if I have half-brothers and half-sisters out there. Even though I won't have full info on my father (if any info at all), I'll be able to trace one side of my family tree and know where I'm from! (I won't be able to trace my father's side even if I find him, because he was adopted, too. I may try DNA searches.)

As I sit here, I realize that the excitement I had over discovering my ancestry has suddenly dissipated. I'm not excited. I'm a bit nauseous and a bit nervous and more than a bit confused. Should I have saved the money I spent on the search and bought a new Apple iPad? Should I have had a REALLY nice meal? I don't know.

The deed is done now, and I await the results. The good news is that I should be able to trace my lineage to two Scottish clans. The bad news is that I may not like where the rest of the branches lead. We'll see.

More bulletins as the news is broken. I return you to your regularly scheduled surfing.

Haiti

I've waited to post about Haiti for several reasons. The main reason is that we have some dear friends from Haiti who were desperately searching for information on their immediate families still living there. Fortunately, they were all okay. Even though they are scared, living outside, and doing without a lot of things, they are alive.

Ultimately, however, I have become sick and tired of hearing people ask, "Why would God allow this to happen?" Or worse, to hear Pat Robertson say that the ancestors of the people of Haiti made a deal with the Devil to throw off French rule. How idiotic can you get? If that was they case, the people of Haiti would be prospering, because the Bible describes Satan as the ruler of this world. Wouldn't he want others to make deals with him by showing how rich he can make them rather than hurting those who made the deal with them? Robertson clearly is so deluded and irrational that he belongs in a home somewhere.

Instead of going over the Scriptural reasons why God is not responsible for what happened in Haiti, I want to focus on a main point that people seem to be overlooking: man is entirely responsible for the disaster in Haiti. Follow my reasoning.

First of all, Haiti as a nation is the most impoverished in the Western Hemisphere. People live on virtually nothing. Is that God's fault? Of course not. It all has to do with man's desire for power, man's greed, and man's lack of compassion. There has been coup after coup in Haiti, with government leaders taking money for themselves and leaving the people destitute. When people are poor, they take any kind of shelter they can get. Thus, the second problem: building standards in Haiti are non-existent. Look at the damage in Haiti. Then, look at the American Embassy in the same country. Which buildings are still standing? The buildings that were erected for foreign offices and built according to certain standards largely stood up to the quake. The Haitian people couldn't afford to build like that. Thus, the buildings toppled like cards.

I could go on and on about infrastructure, poverty and the like, but I won't. You get the picture. It is man who allowed this to happen. It is man's greed and selfishness and "me first" attitude that caused this. Think of all the donations pouring in to Haitian relief right now. What if that money had been used years ago to reinforce buildings, provide good housing and food, and to create a solid infrastructure. Would this disaster have happened? The earthquake wouldn't have been prevented (another topic for discussion), but there might have been a much smaller loss of life.

I was very worried about our friends in Haiti. That worry hasn't abated. Even though they are safe, there is still desperate need. And after that? What happens then? Instead of blaming God or asking why he didn't prevent this, people need to look deep inside and ask, "What could we have done to prevent this?" Then, do what needs to be done so it doesn't happen again.

We Have Lost a Dear Friend

A very quick note. Diane LeFord passed away last night. She fought bravely against an aggressive cancer in her brain, but in the end the cancer was too deep and too quick-moving.

She and her husband Joe have been in love since school. He described her as "his best friend" and it was clear to see that it was true.

If anyone wants to know what a marriage should look like, you can look at what they had. Deepest sympathy to the LeFord family. Even though I have only known them for a couple of years, I hold them dear and will miss Diane greatly.

Thinking of Friends in Haiti

A funny thing happens when you start to attend a foreign language congregation; your world grows. What the heck do I mean?

Well, people who live in the U.S. tend to be a bit insulated from other cultures. The French say that people "look at their own navels". (The idiom doesn't translate well, but you may get the picture.) When we watch the news, it's largely national and local news. It takes something drastic for American news broadcasts to focus on other countries. But when you are a part of a foreign language congregation, you meet people from other cultures. You begin to care about them and see the world as a much more diverse place. In the French congregation, one meets friends from France (bien sûr), Africa (Congo, Côte d'Ivoire, etc.), and a place that feels particularly poignant tonight...Haiti.

We have some friends who moved here from New Jersey to serve in the French group and to help it become a congregation. We have done so, and they remain here, working hard, inspiring, and helping us to grow as people. In meeting and getting to know them, we also got to meet and know her mother, Marie-Thèrese St. Louis. She seemed shy, but once we got to know her she became more open and we all came to be friends. She headed back to Haiti several months ago and was scheduled to come back to the U.S. next month. We are all looking forward to seeing her again.

Then it struck. The earthquake. Haiti appears devastated...and we have no word yet of Marie-Thèrese. All of us are praying that she and her family are safe and sound. We just don't know yet.

But now that I think of it...our world hasn't grown. It has shrunk dramatically, because lands that seemed so distant...so remote...now are a part of our lives. Lands such as Haiti. And people such as Calixte, Nastaha, Nahas, and Marie-Thèrese.

The world doesn't look the same now, and as we meet others, it will look smaller still. And one day, disasters won't happen ever again. Until then, my prayers are with the family, and with the people of Haiti.

Rantin' and Roarin'

Wow. It seems like I get worse and worse at this. Sorry. Things are always crazy, I know.

Anyway, let's get on with some updatin' and rantin'.

Update - birth family search: I've got an investigator working on the process. So far, it looks like she has verified my last name and is waiting on records to verify my maternal grandfather. I think I found his death certificate, too, based on the non-identifying information that was provided by the adoption agency. If we get that right, then the investigator should be able to track down current info for me. I'm not sure what I'll do with it, other than subscribe to Ancestry.com to do more research. There's another company out there that will do a DNA scan to trace the ancestry, but I have my doubts about that. I mean really. Oh yes, sir. We did a full scan and found out that your ancestors are from the Mbabwe tribe of southern Africa! You're what? White? Oh. Well, it must mean that your great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather was an explorer who married a native princess. Yeah! That's it! NOT.

Update - back issues: I've started full treatment with a local chiropractic office / physical therapy office. So - much - fun. Today I got attached to a modern-day version of the rack. I guess it's proof that history repeats itself. You get strapped onto this table in such a way that you can't breathe properly. You can only take short breaths. Then, they raise the table and tilt it backwards so your head is angled towards the floor. You are strapped in at the waist, the ribcage, around the legs, and around the chest. Then, the machine pulls you and vibrates you at the same time. Frankly, I think it's a new way to make you taller while shaking weak fillings out of your teeth. Follow that with a session with head and shoulder weights while walking on a treadmill and sitting in a vibrating wobble-chair. I wonder if there is a camera filming all of this so that the employees can sit back and laugh at what people will pay to have done to them.

Rant - Sacramento Kings - They are young and exciting. And they are driving me nuts with close losses to their opponents! Still, they're far better than last year, and they're fun to watch. Go Kings!

Rant - California government: 'Nuff said. An oxymoron that describes the state of affairs in this state of affairs. California Government. Jumbo Shrimp. 'Kay?

Rant - fog - Ever ridden a motorcycle in this stuff? Someone needs to invent motorcycle gloves with a chamois palm. That way, you could wipe the visor without a problem!

That's it for now. It's late. I'm tired. And my warranty has clearly expired on my quickly aging body.

Next Step in the Search and...the Doctor!

Well, I bit the bullet and decided to hire an investigator to find my birth family. Not that I want to meet them. I just want to know where my ancestors hail from.

So far, she has already got confirmation of my last name, and is in the process of tracking the maternal side of the family. The paternal side is going to be virtually impossible.

With that in mind, I received an advertisement that says they will track your ancestry via your dna. And it's under $200. They say that they can go back 1000s of years to trace where you come from. I'm curious though...how do you prove it? How can you tell them, "You got it wrong!" All they have to say is, "Prove it!" You can't! Not unless you have verified documentation saying that instead of coming from Germany you come from Geezbookistan. I still may do it, though. Just for giggles.

Anyway, I'll update this blog with more ancestry info if I get it.

On a side note, I finally watched the Doctor Who episode, "The Waters of Mars". What can I say? Fan-stinkin-tastic. David Tennant really proved what kind of actor he is in this one. The look on his face as he decided that he was the Lord of Time and could do as he pleased was fanatical! Overall...even if you aren't a big Doctor Who fan, catch this episode. Along with "Blink", it may be the best ever.

Finally, three cheers for the Sacramento Kings. Down by 35 points in the 3rd quarter, and they come back and win on the road in Chicago. This is a new attitude Kings team. Anyone who can't get behind this team just doesn't like basketball. They are already nearing the total wins for last season, and we're still in December! Tyreke Evans is a stud, Jon Brockman is a self-sacrificing rebound machine, and the rest of the team is infected with the "team" bug, which makes these guys fun to watch. Coach Westphal...I don't know what you've done, but keep it up. And Sacramento area...get these guys a new arena, will ya? It will keep events coming to Sacramento and will help to eliminate the Cow-town label. Get it done!

Shopping with the Dry Heaves

Nice title, eh? A bit graphic, but the imagery works. Why? Because I hate shopping for anything in December.

Oh, it isn't the crowds, although those are annoying. People with their credit cards in hand, not learning from past mistakes, and going into debt buying items that will be returned most of the time for something that the person really wants.

It isn't the decorations, although those get on the nerves. If I see one more Satan Claus (oh...did I spell that wrong?) waving at me to encourage me to spend my hard-earned money I'm liable to take a baseball bat and see how far a mannequin can fly.

Actually, the worst part is something that my wife and I experienced yesterday: the incessant, repetitive music. Yes, Rudolph sung in reggae style is different, but the song remains the same. (With apologies to Led Zeppelin for stealing the title.) It isn't just that I don't celebrate Christmas, but what about Jewish folks? Do they like to hear these songs over and over again? And to make bad things worse, these stupid songs end up running through the brain like a scratchy recording of cats being tortured! I have to sing "It's a Small World After All" to get the Christmas song out of my head. Not that I like "Small World", but it's preferable. Rather like being hit with a brick so I don't feel the knife in my back.

Don't these stores realize that I'm more likely to linger and spend money if I don't have to run out screaming with my hands over my ears?

The sad thing is that there's nothing I can do about it. Well, there IS one thing. Can you type "A-M-A-Z-O-N-dot-C-O-M"?

Searchin'

I am adopted. What does that mean to anyone? To me, it means that I was fortunate enough to be taken in by someone who cared enough to call me by their name and to raise me as if I were her own, because in her eyes I was her own. My adoptive mother died several years ago, and her ex-husband, my adoptive father, died a number of years before that.

I never knew my birth mother. I never really found out her name or a lot of information about her. Why? California is one of those states where the only information you can obtain is "non-identifying information". So, there are a few things that I know about my birth parents. They weren't married. My father was supposedly adopted as well, so even if I were to find out about him, it would likely lead to a dead end. My mother was 23 when she gave me up for adoption. I know a little about her, but not much. However, my adoptive sister gave me a clue about my origins. Supposedly, she saw my file when she was at the adoption agency with my adoptive parents. (She was in her late teens at the time, so I trust what she says she saw.) She saw the name "Pringle" on the file jacket. I did some research using Ancestry.com and a couple of other sources, and I did find a Baby Boy Pringle born on my birth date in the city of my birth. So, that seems like a positive start.

Now I'm stuck. Even on Ancestry.com, I can't find out anything. What do I do? I'm tempted to hire a private investigation agency to track down the info, and that looks like my best shot.

A question I am often asked, though, is if I want to meet my mother if she is still alive. My answer? Not really. She gave me up, and from what the adoption agency says, she had good reason to do so. I'm not searching to try to recover lost family. I would just like to know where I come from. Where is my family originally from? The name Pringle is Scottish. Do I have that ancestry? Can I trace my roots back to the lowland clan of Pringle? How cool would that be? I would just like to know.

California needs to give more information. I know that birth parents want to remain anonymous, and I can respect that. But they need to understand that eventually the adopted person is going to have that longing to know where he or she comes from. It hurts a bit to hear how some people can trace their ancestry back hundreds or even thousands of years, and I can't trace mine beyond me.

So, I search. I dig. And I come up largely empty.

Ms. Pringle. If you ever read this and you know that you gave birth in January of 1964 in Los Angeles County, give me a hand, will you? At least help me to know where I come from.

Just a Quick One

Just adding a quick note so that I don't lose the habit again.

I have decided that YouTube is both a plague on humanity and a curse. Why? Where else could you see something like this? Noooo!!! The cuteness!!! It's...horrible!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Bmhjf0rKe8&sns=em

The Weather's a Changin'

California weather is bizarre. We have no autumn or spring. We have winter and summer and that's all. Having said that, we have gone from 60 degree plus weather one week down to a predicted sub-freezing night and 45 degree day. That may seem like nothing to those who live in Minnesota, New York, or Alaska, but to me it's incredibly jolting. I don't mind the cold. I don't mind the rain. I don't like the idea of having to hitch a ride to work with my wife because I can't ride my motorcycle in the rain, but that's another matter entirely. Still, I just wish we had four seasons in this state.

I lived in upstate New York for a grand total of 3 months. I arrived in late August of 1982 (don't laugh...I can't help being old) and left in December due to my utter failure to succeed at the university I tried to attend. (I refuse to get into that right now.) But the beauty of seeing the leaves change in waves was remarkable. From the third floor of my residence hall, I could look north and see a line of trees in the midst of a color change. The wave of red, orange, and yellow progressed towards my location each day, until it reached the local trees and moved past us to spread the glory to the rest of the state.

A short time later, most people had left the college to go home for the Thanksgiving break. I was stuck at the college since my home was in California. As I walked along the empty campus, it started to gently snow. I looked about the old buildings mixed with the new classroom halls, and was stunned by the silence and beauty of the snowflakes gently wafting past and coating the earth.

Why do I write this? I don't know. I just recognize that with all of the benefits of living in California (the economy not being one of them), I miss the seasons that I saw for those few months in New York. Sad? Perhaps. More like melancholy. Time for some Jim Croce and a cup of tea.

On another note...happy anniversary to Sam and Tami! Best wishes to you both!!!

Justly Chastised

Never let it be said that I don't take counsel well. I have been justly chastised by a reader for not posting regularly. Guilty as charged. I can't really say why, but it could be due to my back pain, due to how busy I've been, or due to the lack of reasonable content flowing through what I laughingly call my brain. Still, I should be able to write on one topic or another, or at least rant a bit. Without further ado...a long-missing variety of commentary. (And now for something completely different...)

NBA: I had almost given up hope on rooting for the Kings. After a 17 win season last year, I knew that they had hit rock bottom. Still, I didn't have much confidence that things would change. Can you guess how pleasantly surprised I am by this team? Granted, they are only 8-8 for the young season, but that's nearly half of the win total for ALL of last season! On top of that, they are energetic, feisty, defense-oriented, and fun. How great is that? Now let's get them an arena and we'll be in business.

Television: Someone asked me my opinion of the mini-series "V". I couldn't tell you. I didn't like the original and had no interest in the current. You know, remaking shows isn't always the best idea. For example, AMC recently showed their remake of the series "The Prisoner". Granted, the original could be a bit confusing and the concluding episode was rushed and bizarre. But that was nothing compared to AMC's version. What a load of rubbish! It never established a true storyline and the conclusion was lame. It was as if the writers, director, and producer all got together, smoked some pot, took some Ecstasy, and wrote whatever came into their drug-addled minds. Stick with the original. It's more fun.

However, that is not to say that all new things based on older ones are bad. I present to you ... Doctor Who. The final 3 episodes starring David Tennant as the Doctor are going to be presented starting in mid-December. Some time in 2010 we will see the newest Doctor. When the BBC brought this series back with Christopher Eccleston, they went with what worked: good stories and good characters. Then, they added modern special effects. The result is a very satisfying show. Do you want an episode that will have you on edge until the end? An episode where, after it is complete, you will exhale loudly after realizing that you were holding your breath? Then check the episode "Blink". Very cool.

Finally, on the subject of television...Top Gear. More! I want more of that!! (Apologies to Jeremy Clarkson.) Watch this show, even if you don't love cars. It's so cool.

Well...not finally. I'm currently watching the history of Monty Python: Almost the Truth. If you are a Python fan, give it a watch. But understand that it is long and there is some bad language.

Books: Cara Black writes a good story. If you love Paris, read here Aimee Leduc mysteries. They are fast-moving and take you right into the not-so-nice sections of Paris.

That's about it for now. I'll try to do this more regularly. Mea culpa.

To Anonymous Posters

I only have a moment, so let me be brief.

I am getting anonymous comments to my blog again. Nothing foul, but anonymous.

I repeat what I have written before: If you don't have the courage to include your name, your comments won't be posted. Period. Even if they are complimentary, they won't be posted.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled surfing.

Not Whining....Well, Maybe...

I realize that my posting has gone splat. Believe me, I'm aware of it. Yes, I've been busy. Yes, I will still be busy over the next couple of weeks. But it isn't just "busy-ness" that has kept me from writing here.

Pain is a funny thing. Not funny "ha ha" but funny "odd". I have dealt with back pain for as long as I can recall. I didn't injure my back, but I deal with the effects of scoliosis. It is particularly annoying when the weather changes. You know the image: some old geezer on the front porch in his rocking chair saying, "It's gonna rain. The rheumatism in my knee is acting up." It may sound funny, but it's true. I really can tell when the weather is going to change by the pain in my back.

In this case, though, it isn't changing weather. My lower back is so bad that I can hardly walk at times. As I stated in my last post, I'm going to a chiropractor for it, but so far no big changes. Where am I going with this post?

For some people, pain acts as a focus. They are able to push it aside and really bear down on whatever they are doing. For others, like me, pain makes focus impossible. Add ADD to that and you have a complete meltdown. I am only writing now because I realize that my blog is getting a bit musty. But I am currently walking like Doctor House. (Where's my cane with the flames on it?) There are some who use a cane for sympathy. I'm not one of those. I don't use a cane and I probably should be! Anyway, I think I was writing about pain. I guess what I'm asking for is a bit more patience with this blog, and asking too that no one abandon it. I will write, and I will be working on my manuscript (after I get a French public talk written that is due at the end of the month...).

Anyone got Vicadin?

Chiropractors, Insurance, and What the Heck?

I started seeing a chiropractor this week. This isn't something new for me. Since I was in 10th grade I have been seen by these doctors at various times. When you have scoliosis, it can be another source of treatment.

My back has grown progressively worse over the years, to the point where, in the last two weeks, I have been in severe pain that has made it difficult to do anything. So, I checked on the Mighty Google (capitalized for emphasis and required respect) and found an office right down the street from my home. This isn't just any chiropractor. They actually have medical doctors on staff and do physical therapy as well as chiropractic.

It seems that every chiropractic office has little quirks. Some go for homeopathic medicine; others go for machines that, when attached to the shoulders, make you shrug involuntarily for many minutes (I'm unsure what that unpleasant machine was supposed to do); to the current office that uses a newfangled version of the rack to stretch out patients while intensely vibrating the fillings out of their mouths.

However, after going through x-rays and a consult, I found out that the recommended treatment procedure would last for about 38 weeks and cost over $4000. Yes, you read that right. I could get it lowered by a bit for paying cash. Okay. It's still out of range. Before you ask, yes, I have insurance. However, it is Kaiser insurance, which doesn't cover chiropractic. So where does that leave me? Well, I can change insurance companies during open enrollment, which might lower my copayment to something in the $1 - 2000 range (I'm waiting to find out the damages on Monday), but I have to change doctors and pharmacies, as well as go visit the new doctor to get my prescriptions transferred over. It's all a pain, but may be necessary to get some non-surgical relief.

I am, fortunately, one of the lucky ones who has insurance available to him through his employer. There are many who don't have that option. Either they can't get insurance because of a pre-existing condition, or they can't afford it, or whatever. So, they don't get preventative care or don't go to the doctor when their problem is in an early stage...instead, they have to go to the emergency room where the cost skyrockets.

My statement for this blog is as follows: In one form or another, we all pay for medical care for the uninsured right now. The bills going through Congress are trying to make some changes to the way the insurance industry has to operate, but some people are saying that they shouldn't have to pay for the uninsured. Don't you see? You already do! But wouldn't it be cheaper to allow people to see a General Practitioner on a regular basis to avoid serious problems than to wait until these folks hit the emergency room and are admitted to the hospital, where they HAVE to be treated and where the cost rises through the roof? Who pays for that? Again...we do.

Something has to change. For me, it is something as simple as changing plans in January. For others? Who knows.

I think my back is hurting from stress as well as scoliosis. I'm going to go take a Tylenol, lie down, and keep my eyes focused on a brighter future, where insurance won't be necessary, and "no resident will say, 'I am sick'."

Grizzly

I was asked an interesting question today. I was asked if I haven't written anything because I'm too busy or because I have nothing to write. I had to think about that for a minute. I guess the answer is both.

Things have been very busy lately. Writing parts for meetings and talks is hard enough, but doing it in French is even tougher. Thus, my mind tends to go in that direction. However, I have to say that I really haven't felt much like writing these last few days. I wrote some stuff for my manuscript last week, but then hit the wall. I just got caught up with other things. Add to that the fact that my back has been giving me fits lately, and I just don't have the enthusiasm to write anything. Still, that's not really an excuse, is it?

I called this blog "Time Teaches". In the past, I have included little things that I have learned from experiences, both good and bad. I just wanted to write something short this evening. It is something that I have learned about myself, especially this weekend.

I'm not going into detail, to avoid embarrassing the person or people involved. But I learned that I am more protective of friends than I ever thought. I never really had close friends until recently, and I was never in a position where I was responsible for shepherding others. I have learned that I can be a grizzly bear sometimes when it comes to protecting my own. Is that good or bad? Who knows? But it does mean that there are people out there that I care about very much, and no one, either person or spirit person, had better mess with them on my watch!

That's all. Not much, I know, but I just don't have much to say right now. I'll try to do better next time.

Writing Is Hard

Day two of my "stay home from work and try to get some writing done" experiment. I have to say that I'm a bit disappointed in myself and my attention span.

Now, before you get any ideas (Angela), let me say that I did not spend all of my time on Facebook or the like. Actually, the first day I spent some time learning a new program designed for writers called "Scrivener". I went through the tutorial and then realized that I would have to type in everything I had written so far. (The import function wasn't working as smoothly as I had hoped.) As I typed, I made some minor changes, added a few things, subtracted a few things, etc.

By the end of day two, I have redone everything from my blog, and added a bit more. Tomorrow will be a big test. I'm going to try to write a lot of new material, as well as work on my French public talk.

I have also had a lot on my mind, with my situation at work. I think I'm just going to try to continue to work on myself and not let the "others" get my goat. I can't fix them, and I can't let their childish fits get in the way of my well-being. (Easier said than done.)

That having been said, let me rant a bit.

Sports: Do you ever get the feeling that people spend way too much time berating referees and umpires. Sure, they make mistakes. I'd like to see you call balls and strikes in a baseball game for a bunch of millionaire crybabies in front of tens of thousands of raving fans. Or how about being one of three refs running up and down a court all night trying to watch ten guys moving about at the same time? Frankly, I don't think I could do any of the officiating jobs. Heck, just umpiring Little League bit hard. Give 'em a break, and pay them what they're worth. And if they suck...well, if they get paid a lot, then they can handle the verbal abuse, right?

Nobel Prize: Sheesh...it isn't like Obama nominated himself.

Fox News: I'm not political, but tell me these guys aren't writing the talking points for the Republicans. I dare you.

Peet's Coffee: I didn't order my beverage "extra hot". Do you have to make it molten lava level every stinking time I order coffee? I mean really. I'm sending you guys my tongue graft bills.

Cable Television: It's true. I thought it was just a joke, but it's true. I have about 400 channels and there is NOTHING on worth watching! Nothing!!

California Politics: Don't you think that when the Legislature's approval rating hit 17% that things would change in this state? I mean, if only 17% of voters approve of the job the government is doing, how do the same people keep getting elected? I think it's because voters blame the politicians in everyone else's districts. Surely it can't be their official's fault, can it?

That's all for now. I'm tired. Sleepy night night time. (See? My writing ability is shot. Start again tomorrow.)

Days Away

I have decided to take a few days away from work. It isn't because I'm going anywhere in particular, but because I'm trying to avoid blowing a gasket and making a bad choice. I've been so frustrated and angry at work lately that I've been tempted to quit and find another job. But I can't afford that, so I have to calm down.

All last week I tried to put on a new face. I tried to be helpful, humble, and polite to all I dealt with. It wasn't easy, especially when certain people went out of their way to be annoying. But I thought I was succeeding pretty well. Until, on the last day of the workweek, it happened. I was trying to get everything done so that I could take a few days off. I was working hard, juggling a couple of projects along with an extra test file run for the sake of the people who were annoying me most. To make a long story short, one of the people I had been "warring" with over the last couple of weeks attacked me sarcastically to a vendor. The reasons are unimportant, but I was busy with something for her department and figured she could work with the vendor on a schedule for her department. But no. She slammed me. I held my tongue, informed my supervisor, and got absolutely no understanding from him. Frustrating doesn't begin to describe the feelings.

Anyway, I have no idea what will happen next. It isn't going well.

So, I decided to stay home for a few days, try to work on a manuscript and a public talk, and come to grips with life.

Maybe I can finish and sell this stupid manuscript and quit my job! HA! And maybe I'll win American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, and Iron Chef in the same month! That is, if I could sing, dance, or cook.

I need a sedative. (Or is it a "sedagive"?)