Modern Movie Musicals

I admit it. I like musicals and am secure in my man-hood, so leave my man card alone. I'm a big fan of Gene Kelly - Singin' In The Rain is a masterpiece - and I could probably watch Gigi several times a month.

Recently, the cinema has touched a bit on a sort of rediscovery of musicals. There is a problem, however. Casting crews, in their infinite cluelessness, have decided to go with big name stars rather than people who can sing and/or dance. I can give you two examples in particular.

The Phantom of the Opera - I'm not a big fan of this musical. I think the lyrics are insipid and it harkens back to the Umbrellas of Cherbourg in that all of the dialog seems to be set to music...and I mean ALL of it. I can excuse that, as I did with the Umbrellas. What I cannot forgive, however, is that the folks responsible for casting thought that the title role of the Phantom could be handled by Gerard Butler, who readily admitted that - wait for it - he could not sing. "That's okay," they said. "We will teach you, because you look so darn good!" Alas, they could not teach him, and his singing was only a bit more pleasant than a jackhammer running non-stop when you have a migraine.

Mamma Mia! - I'm no ABBA fan, by any stretch. But when I saw this musical performed at our community center theater by the off-Broadway touring company, I had a great time. The singing was fantastic, the acting was great, and I found myself laughing frequently and smiling incessantly as I left the theater. Then came the film, and the overpowering sensation that I had just been sentenced by Dick Chaney to a fate worse than waterboarding. I won't go into too many details here, as my psychiatrist says it isn't healthy. In the name of all that is decent, who thought that Pierce Brosnan was a singer? His idea of making something better is to sing it louder. In reality, it just sounds as though the lion has reached the jugular of the poor antelope and is finishing it off in an agonizing fashion. Colin Firth? Really? Mister Darcy? Christine Baranski and Amanda Seyfreid were the only saving glories of this film, and they didn't do enough to pull it out of the pit that the casting directors ... well ... cast it into. (sorry about that)

What is the point of this tirade? Can't you guess? If you want to make a musical into a movie, for heaven's sake grab the actors who performed it successfully on stage! Or at least grab a performer who has proven their chops in the required skill set.

Now.... rumor has it that the next musical to be made into a movie is one of my favorites: Les Miserables. A fantastic musical with great songs, it could be magnificent. However, that depends on the cast. Two names have leaked out, and I'm torn.

First off is Anne Hathaway as Fantine. While not THE most important role in the musical, it is important. My question is: can she sing at all? I've never heard her, and Fantine's songs are meant to be extraordinarily powerful and moving. I just think that Anne may not be up to it, but I'm willing to wait and see.

The most important role, by far, is that of Jean Valjean. The rumor here gives me hope. The lead is to be played by an actor who has been very successful in film, extremely successful doing voices in animated film, and has been wildly successful as a ... here we go ... Broadway performer! That actor is: Hugh Jackman! Yes! Actor, singer, dancer...he moves with grace and can play a variety of roles, of which Jean Valjean could easily be one. Is his voice powerful enough? If it is strong enough to star in The Boy From Oz and Oklahoma!, I'm sure it is. Finally, someone has it right. Let's just hope that the other choices are as good.

Musicals can succeed. Just grab the actors and actresses who have shown the ability to carry a show on stage before you put it on film.