Ancestry Update

Well, I finally got the information from the investigator. First off, let me say that Lisa Vittori, who works for Triad Search Consultant in Los Angeles, put in a lot of time on this, and I'm grateful. I actually had much of the correct information from Ancestry.com, so I guess I'm not bad at this investigative stuff myself. However, Lisa actually contacted my biological mother and confirmed the information.

I'm not going to give out names or other information in a blog; that wouldn't be appropriate. However, I can say that my biological mother is still alive and living in Southern California, as is my 93 year old biological grandmother! It seems that long lives are pretty common in one of my ancestral lines.

When I started this quest, I had no intention of contacting my biological mother. I just wanted to know where I "came from". What country holds the key to my ancestry? What did my ancestors do for a living? Do I have famous people in my lineage?

As the information was being prepared, I wondered what would be my reaction when I learned who my mother was? I didn't really know. But neither did I expect her reaction.

She wants nothing to do with me. She wants no contact at all. She insists that I do not write to her or call her.

Believe it or not, I was hurt by this. It isn't as though I was trying to contact her or that I wanted her to be "my mommy". But to shut the door so firmly without even wanting to know who I was or what I had become was almost harsh. Still, after learning a few things about her and my maternal grandmother, I have come to a couple of conclusions. First of all, she has every right to make the statement she did. She gave me up for adoption with the understanding that I would never know who she was. That was part of the deal. She didn't abort me or leave me in a trash bin. She had me placed with adoptive parents who would take care of me. So, if she doesn't want to know me, that's her prerogative. The second thing I have gathered is that I think that she and my biological grandmother are a bit "off". Everything I have read from the medical records and the adoption "non-identifying information", as well as the report of the contact from the investigator, leads me to believe that both of them are a bit neurotic. That makes sense, as I'm not "all here" myself in many ways. I can't fault them if that is the case.

Nonetheless, I can trace one line of my ancestry. I can't trace the paternal line yet, and may never be able to be. As I stated before, it is believed that my biological father is also adopted, so unless I can trace his birth records the same way I traced mine, it's a dead end. I could try a DNA test, and may do so just to find out the region that I'm from, but I'm not sure I want to spend the money on what could be a fly-by-night operation.

Anyway, I have Scottish ancestry, as well as Irish, on that side. (My wife says that I picked the "stepchildren" of the British Empire. Cute...very cute.) I also have a lot of Utah/Mormon ancestry, which is a bit of a surprise.

I'll probably turn a copy of my family tree over to my kids so that they can know some of my ancestry. Who knows? Maybe they'll find they are the ancestors of kings. Or jesters.

Ancestry Found! - Now Waiting for Info

Well, it appears that my investigator has found my mother. I don't know yet if she's alive or what her name is or anything like that. I should have the info this afternoon.

I'm not sure what this means to me. It's a bit scary, now that the information is almost here. I'm unsure what I'm going to do with the info. I mean, I'll actually know if my biological mother is alive and if I have half-brothers and half-sisters out there. Even though I won't have full info on my father (if any info at all), I'll be able to trace one side of my family tree and know where I'm from! (I won't be able to trace my father's side even if I find him, because he was adopted, too. I may try DNA searches.)

As I sit here, I realize that the excitement I had over discovering my ancestry has suddenly dissipated. I'm not excited. I'm a bit nauseous and a bit nervous and more than a bit confused. Should I have saved the money I spent on the search and bought a new Apple iPad? Should I have had a REALLY nice meal? I don't know.

The deed is done now, and I await the results. The good news is that I should be able to trace my lineage to two Scottish clans. The bad news is that I may not like where the rest of the branches lead. We'll see.

More bulletins as the news is broken. I return you to your regularly scheduled surfing.

Haiti

I've waited to post about Haiti for several reasons. The main reason is that we have some dear friends from Haiti who were desperately searching for information on their immediate families still living there. Fortunately, they were all okay. Even though they are scared, living outside, and doing without a lot of things, they are alive.

Ultimately, however, I have become sick and tired of hearing people ask, "Why would God allow this to happen?" Or worse, to hear Pat Robertson say that the ancestors of the people of Haiti made a deal with the Devil to throw off French rule. How idiotic can you get? If that was they case, the people of Haiti would be prospering, because the Bible describes Satan as the ruler of this world. Wouldn't he want others to make deals with him by showing how rich he can make them rather than hurting those who made the deal with them? Robertson clearly is so deluded and irrational that he belongs in a home somewhere.

Instead of going over the Scriptural reasons why God is not responsible for what happened in Haiti, I want to focus on a main point that people seem to be overlooking: man is entirely responsible for the disaster in Haiti. Follow my reasoning.

First of all, Haiti as a nation is the most impoverished in the Western Hemisphere. People live on virtually nothing. Is that God's fault? Of course not. It all has to do with man's desire for power, man's greed, and man's lack of compassion. There has been coup after coup in Haiti, with government leaders taking money for themselves and leaving the people destitute. When people are poor, they take any kind of shelter they can get. Thus, the second problem: building standards in Haiti are non-existent. Look at the damage in Haiti. Then, look at the American Embassy in the same country. Which buildings are still standing? The buildings that were erected for foreign offices and built according to certain standards largely stood up to the quake. The Haitian people couldn't afford to build like that. Thus, the buildings toppled like cards.

I could go on and on about infrastructure, poverty and the like, but I won't. You get the picture. It is man who allowed this to happen. It is man's greed and selfishness and "me first" attitude that caused this. Think of all the donations pouring in to Haitian relief right now. What if that money had been used years ago to reinforce buildings, provide good housing and food, and to create a solid infrastructure. Would this disaster have happened? The earthquake wouldn't have been prevented (another topic for discussion), but there might have been a much smaller loss of life.

I was very worried about our friends in Haiti. That worry hasn't abated. Even though they are safe, there is still desperate need. And after that? What happens then? Instead of blaming God or asking why he didn't prevent this, people need to look deep inside and ask, "What could we have done to prevent this?" Then, do what needs to be done so it doesn't happen again.

We Have Lost a Dear Friend

A very quick note. Diane LeFord passed away last night. She fought bravely against an aggressive cancer in her brain, but in the end the cancer was too deep and too quick-moving.

She and her husband Joe have been in love since school. He described her as "his best friend" and it was clear to see that it was true.

If anyone wants to know what a marriage should look like, you can look at what they had. Deepest sympathy to the LeFord family. Even though I have only known them for a couple of years, I hold them dear and will miss Diane greatly.

Thinking of Friends in Haiti

A funny thing happens when you start to attend a foreign language congregation; your world grows. What the heck do I mean?

Well, people who live in the U.S. tend to be a bit insulated from other cultures. The French say that people "look at their own navels". (The idiom doesn't translate well, but you may get the picture.) When we watch the news, it's largely national and local news. It takes something drastic for American news broadcasts to focus on other countries. But when you are a part of a foreign language congregation, you meet people from other cultures. You begin to care about them and see the world as a much more diverse place. In the French congregation, one meets friends from France (bien sûr), Africa (Congo, Côte d'Ivoire, etc.), and a place that feels particularly poignant tonight...Haiti.

We have some friends who moved here from New Jersey to serve in the French group and to help it become a congregation. We have done so, and they remain here, working hard, inspiring, and helping us to grow as people. In meeting and getting to know them, we also got to meet and know her mother, Marie-Thèrese St. Louis. She seemed shy, but once we got to know her she became more open and we all came to be friends. She headed back to Haiti several months ago and was scheduled to come back to the U.S. next month. We are all looking forward to seeing her again.

Then it struck. The earthquake. Haiti appears devastated...and we have no word yet of Marie-Thèrese. All of us are praying that she and her family are safe and sound. We just don't know yet.

But now that I think of it...our world hasn't grown. It has shrunk dramatically, because lands that seemed so distant...so remote...now are a part of our lives. Lands such as Haiti. And people such as Calixte, Nastaha, Nahas, and Marie-Thèrese.

The world doesn't look the same now, and as we meet others, it will look smaller still. And one day, disasters won't happen ever again. Until then, my prayers are with the family, and with the people of Haiti.

Rantin' and Roarin'

Wow. It seems like I get worse and worse at this. Sorry. Things are always crazy, I know.

Anyway, let's get on with some updatin' and rantin'.

Update - birth family search: I've got an investigator working on the process. So far, it looks like she has verified my last name and is waiting on records to verify my maternal grandfather. I think I found his death certificate, too, based on the non-identifying information that was provided by the adoption agency. If we get that right, then the investigator should be able to track down current info for me. I'm not sure what I'll do with it, other than subscribe to Ancestry.com to do more research. There's another company out there that will do a DNA scan to trace the ancestry, but I have my doubts about that. I mean really. Oh yes, sir. We did a full scan and found out that your ancestors are from the Mbabwe tribe of southern Africa! You're what? White? Oh. Well, it must mean that your great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather was an explorer who married a native princess. Yeah! That's it! NOT.

Update - back issues: I've started full treatment with a local chiropractic office / physical therapy office. So - much - fun. Today I got attached to a modern-day version of the rack. I guess it's proof that history repeats itself. You get strapped onto this table in such a way that you can't breathe properly. You can only take short breaths. Then, they raise the table and tilt it backwards so your head is angled towards the floor. You are strapped in at the waist, the ribcage, around the legs, and around the chest. Then, the machine pulls you and vibrates you at the same time. Frankly, I think it's a new way to make you taller while shaking weak fillings out of your teeth. Follow that with a session with head and shoulder weights while walking on a treadmill and sitting in a vibrating wobble-chair. I wonder if there is a camera filming all of this so that the employees can sit back and laugh at what people will pay to have done to them.

Rant - Sacramento Kings - They are young and exciting. And they are driving me nuts with close losses to their opponents! Still, they're far better than last year, and they're fun to watch. Go Kings!

Rant - California government: 'Nuff said. An oxymoron that describes the state of affairs in this state of affairs. California Government. Jumbo Shrimp. 'Kay?

Rant - fog - Ever ridden a motorcycle in this stuff? Someone needs to invent motorcycle gloves with a chamois palm. That way, you could wipe the visor without a problem!

That's it for now. It's late. I'm tired. And my warranty has clearly expired on my quickly aging body.