Royal Baby ... Blah, Blah, Blah

Can you believe the news reports about the new Petit Prince in England?  Yes, Kate had a baby.  Lots of people do every day.  Well, not men, but lots of women do.  Yet, because the child is born of so-called "royalty" in a so-called "constitutional monarchy", everyone loses their minds.  Why?  I mean, ok, the British care because that's how their line of succession runs.  But why on earth is it big news in the U.S.?  I can only come to one conclusion:

Americans want to be British subjects again.

Maybe not all Americans (certainly not those who claim to be part of the modern-day Tea Party who, instead of throwing tea overboard they lob their sanity over the rails), but seemingly a large number.  And I can guess why.  The approval rating of Congress has dropped to historical lows, with nothing getting done at that level of government except for a continuous exercise in futility called "Repeal Obama Care".  People see this and think, "Wouldn't it be great to be subjects of the Crown again?"

Just think, you could spell words like "color" and "favor" with their missing "u".  You could stand in a queue instead of a line, could avoid insane lorry drivers instead of truck drivers, could ride in a lift instead of an elevator, and add petrol to your gas-guzzler instead of, well, gas!  Just think!  You could get rid of your old apartment and live in a flat instead!  Doesn't that better describe the shape of those buildings?  They aren't "apart", but are usually quite "flat".

We could keep certain aspects of our lives with just a few tweaks.  We could keep the dollar, just as Canada has.  But we could put Doctor Who on the $10 (wait...it's 11 now, isn't it?), and the Stig and the fellows from Top Gear on the $20, since that needs "More Powerrrrr"!  Hey!  This is going well!  We wouldn't even have to drive on the left hand side of the road.  The Canadians don't!  Of course, National Health Care would be implemented, but right-wingers say that's Obama-Care anyway!  It all fits!

So you people ooohing and aaahing over the new Prince George, have your fun!  Just remember, when you describe the new cuisine from Britain, add the "u" when saying that the food doesn't have any flavour.