Thursday, July 23, 2009

Another Round of Short Bursts

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to another installment of "Short Bursts From a Tired and Twisted Mind". Please note: all commentary is designed to be apolitical, although certain common sense questions may be posed. I bear no responsibility for any insanity that runs through my brain.

Health Care: Doesn't it seem illogical for a rich country like the U.S. to have so many people uninsured and underinsured? It also seems illogical that people go hungry or homeless in a rich country, but that's another topic for another day. Granted, health care costs money. But how do these huge insurance HMOs have so much money to spend on commercials and lobbying if they're just doing things for the patients? Just asking...

Starbucks: Why is everyone so surprised that Starbucks closed a bunch of stores? I mean, I can walk out my door and down the street about 3 blocks, and there's a Starbucks. Then, about 1/2 mile away there's another. And another 1/2 mile away there's a Starbucks in a Safeway supermarket. Overkill, you think? Or maybe overcaff. (Someone pick me up a skinny vanilla latte', will you?)

Basketball: Why do I care anything about basketball in the offseason? Am I that desperate for the Kings to have a good season that I'll grasp for any straws in the news that might encourage me? ... umm ... yes, I am.

Electronics: I love my iPhone. I do. And I really love my new MacBook Pro. I do. But I'm not in the tank for Apple. I'm not. Really. I'm not. ---- I AM!!! OK??? I AM in the tank for Apple! (There...I feel better now. Don't you?)

Food: I had dinner at La Provence last night for my anniversary. I positively love the food there, as well as the ambiance. Anyone who can eat at that restaurant and not say that it was great loses many, many points on my scorecard. I don't really keep a scorecard, but if I did, they would lose points.

Sacramento Valley: Tell me again why I live here. Is it the climate? Yeah...110 in the summer is just peachy. The economy? Hey, California Legislature and Arnie...get a clue, bozos! The roads? Ask the suspension on my car. Come to think of it, I haven't the vaguest idea of why I live here, except that now that I bought a house, I'm stuck here. (Good thinking there, buddy boy.)

French language: I hate verb conjugations!!! I do!!! Can't I just speak it like Tarzan speaks English?? They'll understand. "Me go there...eat good food...go store later...then go sleep. Ugh. Watch for elephant droppings." I stink at this language. My brain only works in English, and even then I couldn't define a participle to save my life.

That's it for now. Be sure to tip your waiter. I'm here till Tuesday. Try the veal. If you had any adult beverages, don't drive home...call a cab. Goodnight everybody!!!

4 comments:

Chris G said...

Just how does one say "elephant droppings" in French, anyways?

Adam said...

I'm not sure I could do it without using the m-word.

How about, "Caca de pachyderme"?

Asia said...

Ha! Arnie...

It was pretty funny in my third year of Spanish thinking back to when I first started...remembering how I could only speak in the present tense, skipping vital filler words, using complete Spanglish so others could understand me..."Yo dos!"

But it's not very funny now that I realize my lack of practice has left me at about that level once again.

Adam said...

Time to get back into it. Practice, practice, practice.